The Buzz on ‘Poetry Jokes and Reflections
Friday, April 6th, 2012 |
Someone has written these beautiful words. Must read and try to understand the deep meaning of it.
They are like the ten commandments to follow in life all the time.
1] Prayer is not a “spare wheel” that you pull out when in trouble, but it is a “steering wheel” that directs the right path throughout.
2] So why a Car’s WINDSHIELD is so large and the Rear view Mirror is so small? Because our PAST is not as important as our FUTURE. So, Look Ahead and Move on.
3] Friendship is like a BOOK. It takes few seconds to burn, but it takes years to write.
4] All things in life are temporary. If going well, enjoy it, they will not last forever. If going wrong, don’t worry, they can’t last long either.
5] Old Friends are Gold! New Friends are Diamond! If you get a Diamond, don’t forget the Gold! Because to hold a Diamond, you always need a Base of Gold!
6] Often when we lose hope and think this is the end, GOD smiles from above and says, “Relax, sweetheart, it’s just a bend, not the end!
7] When GOD solves your problems, you have faith in HIS abilities; when GOD doesn’t solve your problems HE has faith in your abilities.
8] A blind person asked St. Anthony: “Can there be anything worse than losing eye sight?” He replied: “Yes, losing your vision!”
9] When you pray for others, God listens to you and blesses them, and sometimes, when you are safe and happy, remember that someone has prayed for you.
10] WORRYING does not take away tomorrow’s TROUBLES, it takes away today’s PEACE.
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Friday, February 4th, 2011 |
(Reprinted from an email with no credit available to the author. Please let me know who you are so I can thank you!)
APHORISM: A SHORT, POINTED SENTENCE EXPRESSING
A WISE OR CLEVER OBSERVATION OR A GENERAL TRUTH
1. The nicest thing about the future is that it always starts tomorrow.
2. Money will buy a fine dog, but only kindness will make him wag his tail.
3. If you don’t have a sense of humor, you probably don’t have any sense at all.
4. Seat belts are not as confining as wheelchairs.
5. A good time to keep your mouth shut is when you’re in deep water.
6. How come it takes so little time for a child who is afraid of the dark to become a teenager who wants
to stay out all night?
7. Business conventions are important because they demonstrate how many people a company can
operate without.
8. Why is it that at class reunions you feel younger than everyone else looks?
9. Scratch a cat and you will have a permanent job.
10. No one has more driving ambition than the boy who wants to buy a car.
11. There are no new sins; the old ones just get more publicity.
12. There are worse things than getting a call for a wrong number at 4 AM. It could be a right number.
13. No one ever says ‘It’s only a game.’ when their team is winning.
14. I’ve reached the age where the happy hour is a nap.
15. Be careful reading the fine print. There’s no way you’re going to like it.
16. The trouble with bucket seats is that not all peoples buckets are the same size.
17. Do you realize that in about 40 years, we’ll have thousands of tattooed old ladies running around?
(And the Golden Oldies will be rap music!)
18. Money can’t buy happiness — but somehow it’s more comfortable to cry in a Corvette than in a Yugo.
19. After 50, if you don’t wake up aching in every joint, you are probably dead!
20. Always be yourself because the people who matter don’t mind, and the ones who mind don’t matter.
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Monday, January 10th, 2011 |
(Reprinted from an email with no credit available to the author. Please let me know who you are so I can thank you!)
Whether these changes are good or bad depends in part on how we adapt to them. But, ready or not, here they come!
1. The Post Office. Get ready to imagine a world without the post office. They are so deeply in financial trouble that there is probably no way to sustain it long term. Email, Fed Ex, and UPS have just about wiped out the minimum revenue needed to keep the post office alive. Most of your mail every day is junk mail and bills..
2. The Check. Britain is already laying the groundwork to do away with checks by 2018. It costs the financial system billions of dollars a year to process checks. Plastic cards and online transactions will lead to the eventual demise of the check. This plays right into the death of the post office. If you never paid your bills by mail and never received them by mail, the post office would absolutely go out of business.
3. The Newspaper. The younger generation simply doesn’t read the newspaper. They certainly don’t subscribe to a daily delivered print edition. That may go the way of the milkman and the laundry man. As for reading the paper online, get ready to pay for it. The rise in mobile Internet devices and e-readers has caused all the newspaper and magazine publishers to form an alliance. They have met with Apple, Amazon, and the major cell phone companies to develop a model for paid subscription services.
4. The Book. You say you will never give up the physical book that you hold in your hand and turn the literal pages. I said the same thing about downloading music from iTunes. I wanted my hard copy CD. But I quickly changed my mind when I discovered that I could get albums for half the price without ever leaving home to get the latest music. The same thing will happen with books. You can browse a bookstore online and even read a preview chapter before you buy. And the price is less than half that of a real book. And think of the convenience! Once you start flicking your fingers on the screen instead of the book, you find that you are lost in the story, can’t wait to see what happens next, and you forget that you’re holding a gadget instead of a book.
5. The Land Line Telephone. Unless you have a large family and make a lot of local calls, you don’t need it anymore. Most people keep it simply because they’ve always had it. But you are paying double charges for that extra service. All the cell phone companies will let you call customers using the same cell provider for no charge against your minutes.
6. Music. This is one of the saddest parts of the change story. The music industry is dying a slow death. Not just because of illegal downloading. It’s the lack of innovative new music being given a chance to get to the people who would like to hear it. Greed and corruption is the problem.
The record labels and the radio conglomerates are simply self-destructing. Over 40% of the music purchased today is “catalog items,” meaning traditional music that the public is familiar with. Older established artists. This is also true on the live concert circuit. To explore this fascinating and disturbing topic further, check out the book, “Appetite for Self-Destruction” by Steve Knopper, and the video documentary, “Before the Music Dies.”
7. Television. Revenues to the networks are down dramatically. Not just because of the economy. People are watching TV and movies streamed from their computers. And they’re playing games and doing lots of other things that take up the time that used to be spent watching TV. Prime time shows have degenerated down to lower than the lowest common denominator.
Cable rates are skyrocketing and commercials run about every 4 minutes and 30 seconds. I say good riddance to most of it. It’s time for the cable companies to be put out of our misery.. Let the people choose what they want to watch online and through Netflix.
8. The “Things” That You Own. Many of the very possessions that we used to own are still in our lives, but we may not actually own them in the future. They may simply reside in “the cloud.” Today your computer has a hard drive and you store your pictures, music, movies, and documents. Your software is on a CD or DVD, and you can always re-install it if need be. But all of that is changing. Apple, Microsoft, and Google are all finishing up their latest “cloud services.” That means that when you turn on a computer, the Internet will be built into the operating system. So, Windows, Google, and the Mac OS will be tied straight into the Internet. If you click an icon, it will open something in the Internet cloud. If you save something, it will be saved to the cloud. And you may pay a monthly subscription fee to the cloud provider.
In this virtual world, you can access your music or your books, or your whatever from any laptop or handheld device. That’s the good news. But, will you actually own any of this “stuff” or will it all be able to disappear at any moment in a big “Poof?” Will most of the things in our lives be disposable and whimsical? It makes you want to run to the closet and pull out that photo album, grab a book from the shelf, or open up a CD case and pull out the insert.
9. Privacy. If there ever was a concept that we can look back on nostalgically, it would be privacy. That’s gone. It’s been gone for a long time anyway. Try Google search on your name and see how much information is available and you will be appalled. There are cameras on the street, in most of the buildings, and even built into your computer and cell phone. But you can be sure that 24/7, “They” know who you are and where you are, right down to the GPS coordinates, and the Google Street View. If you buy something, your habit is put into a zillion profiles, and your ads will change to reflect those habits. And “They” will try to get you to buy something else. Again and again.
All we will have that can’t be changed are Memories.
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Sunday, June 20th, 2010 |
To all the Dad’s out there… hilarious measure of a Father’s logic on babies…
Spread the diaper in the position of a baseball diamond with you at bat. Then fold second base down to home and set the baby on the pitcher’s mound. Put first base and third together, bring up home plate and pin the three together. Of course, in case of rain, you gotta call the game and start all over again.
Author Unknown
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Sunday, June 13th, 2010 |
Law of Mechanical Repair - After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch & you’ll have to pee.
Law of Gravity - Any tool, nut, bolt, screw, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner.
Law of Probability -The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act.
Law of Random Numbers – If you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal & someone always answers.
Law of the Alibi - If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the very next morning you will have a flat tire.
Variation Law - If you change lines (or traffic lanes), the one you were in will always move faster than the one you are in now (works every time).
Law of the Bath – When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone rings.
Law of Close Encounters -The probability of meeting someone you know increases dramatically when you are with someone you don’t want to be seen with.
Law of the Result - When you try to prove to someone that a machine won’t work, it will.
Law of Biomechanics - The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.
Law of the Theater & Hockey Arena - At any event, the people whose seats are furthest from the aisle, always arrive last. They are the ones who will leave their seats several times to go for food, beer, or the toilet & who leave early before the end of the performance or the game is over. The folks in the aisle seats come early, never move once, have long gangly legs or big bellies & stay to the bitter end of the performance. The aisle people also are very surly folk.
The Coffee Law - As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold.
Murphy’s Law of Lockers - If there are only 2 people in a locker room, they will have adjacent lockers.
Law of Physical Surfaces - The chances of an open-faced jelly sandwich landing face down on a floor, are directly correlated to the newness & cost of the carpet or rug.
Law of Logical Argument - Anything is possible if you don’t know what you are talking about.
Brown’s Law of Physical Appearance - If the clothes fit, they’re ugly.
Oliver’s Law of Public Speaking - A closed mouth gathers no feet.
Wilson’s Law of Commercial Marketing Strategy - As soon as you find a product that you really like, they will stop making it.
Doctors’ Law - If you don’t feel well, make an appointment to go to the doctor, by the time you get there you’ll feel better. Don’t make an appointment and you’ll stay sick.
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Saturday, June 5th, 2010 |
(Reprinted from an email with no credit available to the author. Please let me know who you are so I can thank you!)
Is there an imaginary cutoff period when offspring become accountable for their own actions? Is there some wonderful moment when parents can become detached spectators in the lives of their children and shrug, “It’s their life,” and feel nothing?
When I was in my twenties, I stood in a hospital corridor waiting for doctors to put a few stitches in my daughter’s head and I asked, “When do you stop worrying?”
The nurse said, “When they get out of the accident stage.”
When I was in my thirties, I sat on a little chair in a classroom and heard how one of my children talked incessantly, disrupted the class, and was headed for a career making license plates.
As if to read my mind, a teacher said, “Don’t worry, they all go through this stage, then you can sit back, relax and enjoy them.”
When I was in my forties, I spent a lifetime waiting for the phone to ring, the cars to come home, and the front door to open.
A friend said, “They’re trying to find themselves. Don’t worry! In a few years, they’ll be adults. They’ll be off on their own, they’ll be out of your hair.”
By the time I was 50, I was sick and tired of being vulnerable. I was still worrying over my children, but there was a new wrinkle. Even though they were on their own I continued to anguish over their failures, be tormented by their frustrations and absorbed in their disappointment, and there was nothing I could do about it.
My friends said that when my kids got married I could stop worrying and lead my own life. I wanted to believe.
My friends said that when I became a grandparent I would get to enjoy the happy little voices yelling “Grandma! Papa!”
But now I find I worry just as much about the little kids as the big ones. How can anyone cope with all this worry? Can it be that parents are sentenced to a lifetime of worry? Is concern for one another handed down like a torch to blaze the trail of human frailties and the fears of the unknown? Is concern a curse, or is it a virtue that elevates us to the highest form of earthly creation?
Recently, one of my own children became quite irritable, saying to me, “Where were you? I’ve been calling for three days and no one answered. I was worried!”
I smiled a warm smile. The torch has been passed.
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Saturday, May 29th, 2010 |
A minister decided that a visual
demonstration would add emphasis
to his Sunday sermon.
Four worms were placed into
four separate jars..
The first worm was put into a container
of alcohol.
The second worm was put into a container
of cigarette smoke.
The third worm was put into a container of
chocolate syrup.
The fourth worm was put into a container of
good clean soil.
At the conclusion of the sermon, the
Minister reported the following results:
The first worm in alcohol – Dead.
The second worm in cigarette smoke – Dead
The Third worm in chocolate syrup -Dead
Fourth worm in good clean soil -Alive.
So the Minister asked the congregation
What did you learn from this demonstration?
Maxine was sitting in the back,
quickly raised her hand and said,
‘As long as you drink, smoke and eat chocolate, you won’t have worms!’
That pretty much ended the service.
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Saturday, May 22nd, 2010 |
Another fun email:
THESE REALLY WORK!!
AMAZING SIMPLE HOME REMEDIES:
1. Avoid cutting yourself when slicing vegetables by getting someone else to hold the vegetable while you chop.
2. Avoid arguments with females about lifting the toilet seat by using the sink.
3. For high blood pressure sufferers ~ Simply cut yourself and bleed for a few minutes, thus reducing the pressure on you veins. Remember to use a timer.
4. A mouse trap placed on top of your alarm clock will prevent you from rolling over and going back to sleep after you hit the snooze button.
5. If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of laxatives, then you’ll be afraid to cough.
6. You only need two tools in life ~ WD-40 and duct tape. If it doesn’t move and should, use the WD-40. If it shouldn’t move and does, us the duct tape.
7. If you can’t fix it with a hammer, you’ve got and electrical problem.
Author Unknown
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Saturday, May 15th, 2010 |
I received these in an email and thought they were cute enough to share.
A kindergarten pupil told his teacher he’d found a cat, but it was dead. “How do you know that the cat was dead?” she asked him. “Because I pissed in its ear and it didn’t move,” answered the child innocently. “You did WHAT!!” the teacher exclaimed in surprise. “You know,” explained the boy, “I leaned over and went ‘Pssst!’ and it didn’t move.”
An exasperated mother, whose son was always getting into mischief, finally asked him, “How do you expect to get into Heaven?” The boy thought it over and said, “Well, I’ll run in and out and in and out and keep slamming the door until St. Peter says, ‘For Heaven’s sake, Dylan, come in or stay out!”
One summer evening during a violent thunderstorm a mother was tucking her son into bed. She was about to turn off the light when he asked with a tremor in his voice, “Mommy, will you sleep with me tonight?” The mother smiled and gave him a reassuring hug. “I can’t dear,” she said. “I have to sleep in Daddy’s room.” A long silence was broken at last by his shaky little voice: “The big sissy.”
When I was six months pregnant with my third child, my three year old came into the room as I was preparing to get into the shower. She said, “Mommy, you are getting fat!” I said, ” remember Mommy has a baby growing in her tummy.” “I know,” she replied, “but what’s growing in you butt?”
One day the first grade teacher was reading the story of “Chicken Little” to her class. She came to the part where Chicken Little warns the farmer. She read, “…and Chicken Little went up to the farmer and said, “The sky is falling!” The teacher then asked the class, “And what do you think that farmer said?” One little girl raised her hand and said, “I think he said: ‘Holy Sh*t! A talking chicken!” The teacher was unable to teach for the next 10 minutes.
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Sunday, May 9th, 2010 |
The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
Borrow money from a pessimist – they don’t expect it back.
If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?
Quantum mechanics: The dreams stuff is made of.
The only substitute for good manners is fast reflexes.
Support bacteria – they’re the only culture some people have.
If at first you don’t succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.
A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking.
Experience is something you don’t get until just after you need it.
For every action there is an equal and opposite criticism.
Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of checks.
Never do card tricks for the group you play poker with.
Success always occurs in private and failure in full view.
The colder the x-ray table the more of you body is required on it.
The hardness of butter is directly proportional to the softness of the bread.
The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the ability to reach it.
Author Unknown
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Sunday, May 2nd, 2010 |
This is a little off color, but cute…..
Stan goes to visit his 85 year old grandpa in the hospital.
“How are you grandpa?” he asks.
“Feeling fine,” says the old man.
“What’s the food like?”
“Terrific, wonderful menus.”
“And the nursing?”
“Just couldn’t be better. The nurses really take care of me.”
“What about sleeping? Do you sleep ok?”
“No problem at all. Nine hours solid every night. At 10 o’clock they bring me a cup of hot chocolate and a Viagra tablet…and that’s it. I go out like a light.”
The grandson is puzzled and a little alarmed by this, so he rushes off to question the nurse in charge.
“What are you people doing,” he says, “I’m told you’re giving an 85 year old Viagra on a daily basis. Surely, that can’t be true?”
“Oh, yes,” replies the nurse. “Every night at 10 o’clock we give him a cup of hot chocolate and a Viagra tablet. It works wonderfully well. The chocolate makes him sleep, and the Viagra stops him from rolling out of bed.”
Author Unknown
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Sunday, April 25th, 2010 |
Have you ever watched kids on a merry-go-round
listened to the rain slapping on the ground?
Ever followed a butterfly’s erratic flight
or gazed at the sun into the fading night?
You better slow down
Don’t dance so fast
Time is short
The music won’t last
Do you run through each day on the fly
When you ask, “How are you?” do you hear the reply?
When the day is done, do you lie in your bed
with the next hundred chores running through your head?
You better slow down
Don’t dance so fast
Time is short
The music won’t last
Ever told your child, we’ll do it tomorrow
and in your haste, not see his sorrow?
Ever lost touch, let a good friendship die
’cause you never had time to call and say “Hi”?
You better slow down
Don’t dance so fast
Time is short
The music won’t last
When you run so fast to get somewhere
you miss half the fun of getting there.
When you worry and hurry through you day
it is like an unopened gift…thrown away.
Life is not a race
Do take it slower
Hear the music
Before the song is over.
Author
David L. Weatherford
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Sunday, April 18th, 2010 |
John asks his wife, Mary, what she wants to celebrate their 40th wedding anniversary.
“Would you like a new mink coat?” he asks.
“Not really,” says Mary.
“Well, how about a new Mercedes sports car?” says John.
“No,” she responds.
“What about a new vacation home in the country?” he suggests.
She again rejects the offer with a “No, thanks.”
“Well, what would you like for our anniversary?” John asks.
“John, I’d like a divorce,” answers Mary.
“Sorry, I wasn’t planing to spend that much,” says John.
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Thursday, April 15th, 2010 |
Just received this in an email:
Thought for the day:
As income tax time approaches, did you ever notice:
When you put the two words “The” and “IRS” together
it spells “THEIRS“?
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Sunday, April 11th, 2010 |
I enjoy this every time I read it. Although it’s been around the block a few times, I thought I’d post it.
This is supposedly a true story from the Word Perfect help line. This is from a taped conversation.
“Word Perfect Technical Desk, may I help you?”
“Yes, well, I’m having trouble with Word Perfect.”
“What sort of trouble?”
“Well, I was just typing along and all of a sudden the words went away.”
“Went away?”
“They disappeared.”
“Hmm. So what does you screen look like now?”
“Nothing.”
“Nothing?”
“It’s blank; it won’t accept anything when I type.”
“Are you still in Word Perfect or did you get out?”
“How do I tell?”
“Can you see the C: prompt on the screen?”
“What’s a sea-prompt?”
“Never mind. Can you move the cursor around on the screen?”
“There isn’t any cursor. I told you it won’t accept anything I type!”
“Does you monitor have a power indicator?”
“What’s a monitor?”
“It’s the thing with the screen on it that looks like a TV”
“Does it have a little light that tells you when it’s on?”
“I don’t know.”
“Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find where the power cord goes into it. Can you see that?”
“Yes, I think so.”
“Great. Follow the cord to the plug and tell me if it’s plugged into the wall.”
“……..Yes, it is.”
“When you were behind the monitor did you notice that there were two cables plugged into the back of it, not just one?”
“No.”
“Well, there are. I need you to look back there again and find the other cable.”
“Okay, here it is.”
“Follow it for me and tell me if it’s plugged securely into the back of your computer.”
“I can’t reach.”
“Uh huh. Well, can you see if it is?”
“No.”
“Even if you maybe put your knee on something and lean way over?”
“Oh, it’s not because I don’t have the right angle, it’s because it’s dark.”
“Dark?”
“Yes, the office light is off and the only light I have is coming in from the window.”
“Well, turn on the office light then.”
“I can’t.”
“No? Why not?”
“Because there’s a power outage.”
“A power…A power outage? Aha, Okay, we’ve got it licked now. Do you still have the boxes and manuals and packing stuff your computer came in?”
“Well, yes I keep them in the closet.”
“Good. Go get them and unplug you system and pack it up just like it was when you got it. Than take it back to the store you bought it from.”
“Really? Is it that bad?”
“Yes, I’m afraid it is.”
“Well, all right then I suppose. What do I tell them?”
“Tell them that you’re too stupid to own a computer.”
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Sunday, April 4th, 2010 |
To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research.
To succeed in politics, it is often necessary to rise above your principles.
Monday is an awful way to spend 1/7th of your life.
Two wrongs are only the beginning.
The problem with the gene pool is that there is no lifeguard.
The sooner you fall behind the more time you’ll have to catch up.
A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
Change is inevitable except from vending machines.
Get a new car for your spouse – it’ll be a great trade!
Plan to be spontaneous – tomorrow.
Always try to be modest and be proud of it!
If you believe in telekinesis, raise my hand.
If at first you don’t succeed, then skydiving isn’t for you.
Author Unknown
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Wednesday, March 31st, 2010 |
I just received this in an email and couldn’t resist posting it. It made me laugh, perhaps because I’m blonde.
Pulled into the crowded parking lot at the local shopping center,
rolled down the car windows to make sure my Labrador Retriever
puppy had fresh air.
She was stretched out on the back seat, and I wanted to impress
upon her that she must remain there.
I got out of my car and as I walked backwards towards the curb,
pointing my finger at the car and saying emphatically, “Now you stay
Do you hear me?”
Stay……Stay
The driver of a nearby car, a pretty young blonde young lady, gave me
a strange look, and leaning out of her car window said,
“Why don’t you just put it in park!”
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Sunday, March 28th, 2010 |
Two doctors and an HMO manager died and lined up at the pearly gates for admission to heaven.
St. Peter asked them to identify themselves. One doctor stepped forward and said, “I was a pediatric spine surgeon and helped kids overcome their deformities.” St. Peter said, “You can enter.”
The second doctor said, “I was a psychiatrist. I helped people rehabilitate themselves.” St. Peter also invited him in.
The third applicant stepped forward and said, “I was an HMO manager. I helped people get cost effective health care.” St. Peter said, “You can come in too.”
But as the HMO manager walked by, St. Peter added, “You can stay three days. After that you can go to hell.
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Saturday, March 20th, 2010 |
I‘ve learned… that you cannot make someone love you. All you can do is be someone who can be loved. The rest is up to them.
I‘ve learned… that it takes years to build up trust, and only seconds to destroy it.
I‘ve learned… that no matter how much I care, some people just don’t care back.
I‘ve learned… that it’s not what you have in your life, but who you have in your life that counts.
I‘ve learned… that you can get by on charm for about fifteen minutes. After that, you’d better know something.
I‘ve learned… that you shouldn’t compare yourself to the best others can do.
I‘ve learned… that you can do something in an instant that will give you heartache for life.
I‘ve learned… that it’s taking me a long time to become the person I want to be.
I‘ve learned… that you should always leave loved ones with loving words. It may be the last time you see them.
I‘ve learned… that you can keep going long after you thought you couldn’t.
I‘ve learned… that we are responsible for what we do, no matter how we feel.
I‘ve learned… that either you control your attitude or it controls you.
I‘ve learned… that regardless of how hot and steamy a relationship is at first, the passion fades and there had better be something else to take its place.
I‘ve learned… that heroes are the people who do what has to be done when it needs to be done, regardless of the consequences.
I‘ve learned… that money is a lousy way of keeping score.
I‘ve learned… that my best friend and I can do anything or nothing and have the the best times.
I‘ve learned… that sometimes the people you expect to kick you when you’re down will be the ones to help you get back up.
I‘ve learned… that sometimes when I’m angry I have the right to be angry, but that doesn’t give me the right to be cruel.
I‘ve learned… that true friendship continues to grow, even over the longest distance. Same goes for true love.
I‘ve learned… that just because someone doesn’t love you the way you want them to, doesn’t mean they don’t love you with all they have.
I‘ve learned… that maturity has more to do with what types of experiences you’ve had and what you’ve learned from them and less to do with how many birthdays you’ve celebrated.
I‘ve learned… that you should never tell a child their dream are unlikely or outlandish. Few things are more humiliating, and what as tragedy it would be if they believed it.
I‘ve learned… that your family won’t always be there for you. It may seem funny, but people you aren’t related to can take of you and love you teach you to trust people again. Families aren’t biological.
I‘ve learned… that now matter how good a friend is, they’re going to hurt you every once in a while and you must forgive them for that.
I‘ve learned… that it isn’t always enough to be forgiven by others. Sometimes you have to learn to forgive yourself.
I‘ve learned… that no matter how bad your heart is broken the world doesn’t stop for your grief.
I‘ve learned… that our background and circumstances may have influenced who we are, but we are responsible for who we become.
I‘ve learned… that just because two people argue, it doesn’t mean they don’t love each other. And just because they don’t argue, it doesn’t mean they do.
I‘ve learned… that we don’t have to change friends if we understand that friends change.
I‘ve learned… that you shouldn’t be so eager to find out a secret. It could change your life forever.
I‘ve learned… that two people can look at the exact same thing and see something totally different.
I‘ve learned… that no matter how you try to protect you children, they will eventually get hurt and you will hurt in the process.
I‘ve learned… that your life can be changed in a matter of hours by people who don’t even know you.
I‘ve learned… that even when you think you have no more to give, when a friend cries out to you, you will find the strength to help.
I‘ve learned… that credentials on the wall do not make you a decent human being.
I‘ve learned… that the people you care about most in life are taken from you too soon.
I‘ve learned… that it’s hard to determine where to draw the line between being nice and not hurting people’s feelings and standing up for what you believe.
Author Unknown
Posted in Poetry Jokes and Reflections | 2 Comments »
Sunday, March 14th, 2010 |
How much deeper would the ocean be without sponges.
A day without sunshine is like, night.
42.7 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot.
99 percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name.
Remember half the people you know are below average.
Despite the cost of living, its’ popularity remains.
Atheism is a non-”prophet” organization.
Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.
He who laughs last, thinks the slowest.
Posted in Poetry Jokes and Reflections | 2 Comments »
Saturday, March 6th, 2010 |
One day a rich father took his son on a trip to the country with the purpose of showing him how poor people live.
They spent a day and a night on the farm of a very poor family.
When they returned back from their trip the father asked his son, “How did you enjoy the trip? Did you see how poor people can be?”
The son replied, “Yes, I saw that we have a dog at home, and they have four. We have a pool that reaches to the middle of the garden and they have a creek that has no end. We have imported lamps in the garden, they have stars. Our patio reaches to the front yard and they have the whole horizon.”
When the little boy was finishing, his father was speechless.
His son added, “Thanks Dad for showing me how poor we are!”
Posted in Poetry Jokes and Reflections | 1 Comment »
Friday, March 5th, 2010 |
Memories are made of things that happen everyday,
Moments as we live them, things we do and say.
Little bits and pieces of laughter mixed with tears,
Paragraphs and pages written through the years.
The friendships we remember, mistakes that we regret.
The endings of a love, we never could forget.
We can’t erase the sadness, or edit out the tears,
We can’t undo the wrong, we can’t relive the years.
But, since memories keep building, each day can be the start,
Of making new and happy ones, to store within the heart.
Posted in Poetry Jokes and Reflections | No Comments »
Thursday, March 4th, 2010 |
The most important six words:
“I admit I made a mistake”
The most important five words:
“I am proud of you”
The most important four words:
“What is your opinion”
The most important three words:
“If you please”
The most important two words:
“Thank you”
The most important word:
“We”
The least important word:
“I”
Posted in Poetry Jokes and Reflections | 1 Comment »
Wednesday, March 3rd, 2010 |
A little boy got on the bus, sat next to a man reading a book, and noticed he had his collar on backwards. The little boy asked why he wore his collar that way.
The man, who was a priest, said, “I am a Father.”
The little boy replied, “My daddy doesn’t wear his collar like that.”
The priest looked up from his book and answered “I am the Father of many.”
The boy said, “My dad has 4 boys, 4 girls and two grandchildren and he doesn’t wear his collar that way.”
The priest, getting impatient, said, “I am the Father of hundreds” and went back to reading his book.
The little boy sat quietly thinking for a while, and leaned over and said, “Maybe you should wear your pants backwards instead of your collar.”
Posted in Poetry Jokes and Reflections | No Comments »
Tuesday, March 2nd, 2010 |
Just when I think I’ve grown up
I learn some other
astounding fact of life
and feel like a child
who thinks he’s mastered
the art of shoe-tying
only to discover
on loop does not make a bow.
Posted in Poetry Jokes and Reflections | No Comments »
Monday, March 1st, 2010 |
A man returns from the doctor and tells his wife that the doctor has told him he has only 24 hours to live. Given this prognosis, the man asks his wife for sex. Naturally, she agrees, and they make love.
About six hours later, the husband goes to his wife and says, “Honey, you know I now have only 18 hours to live. Could we please do it one more time?” Of course, the wife agrees, and they do it again.
Later, as the man gets into bed, he looks at his watch and realizes that now he has only 8 hours left. He touches his wife’s shoulder, and asks, ” Honey, please…just one more time before I die.” She says, “Of course, Dear,” and they make love for the third time.
After this session, the wife rolls over and falls asleep. The man, however, worried about his impending death, tosses and turns, until he’s down to 4 more hours. He taps his wife, who rouses. “Honey, I have only 4 more hours. Do you think we could…”
At this point the wife sits up and says, “Listen, I have to get up in the morning. You don’t!”
Posted in Poetry Jokes and Reflections | No Comments »
Sunday, February 28th, 2010 |
Four things you can’t recover:
The stone……..after the throw.
The word……..after it’s said.
The occasion………after it’s missed.
The time……..after it’s gone.
Posted in Poetry Jokes and Reflections | No Comments »
Saturday, February 27th, 2010 |
Four brothers left home for college, and they became successful doctors and lawyers and prospered. Some years later, they chatted after having dinner together. They discussed the gifts that they were able to give to their elderly mother who lived far away in another city.
The first said, “I had a big house built for Mama.”
The second said, “I had a hundred thousand dollar theater build in the house.”
The third said, “I had my Mercedes dealer deliver her an SL600.”
The fourth said, “Listen to this. You know how Mama loved reading the Bible and you know she can’t read it anymore because she can’t see very well. I met this priest who told me about a parrot that can recite the entire Bible. It took twenty priests 12 years to teach him. I had to pledge to contribute $100,000 a year for twenty years to the church, but it was worth it. Mama just has to name the chapter and verse and the parrot will recite it.”
The other brothers werer impressed. After the holidays Mom sent out her thank you notes.
She wrote: “Milton, the house you built is so huge. I live in only one room, but I have to clean the whole house. Thanks anyway.”
“Michael, you gave me an expensive theater with Dolby sound, it could hold 50 people, but all my friends are dead, I’ve lost my hearing and I’m nearly blind. I’ll never use it. Thank you for the gesture just the same.”
“Marvin, I am too old to travel. I stay home, I have my groceries delivered, so I never use the Mercedes. The thought was good. Thanks.”
“Dearest Melvin, you were the only son to have the good sense to give a little thought to your gift. The chicken was delicious. Thank you.”
Posted in Poetry Jokes and Reflections | 2 Comments »
Friday, February 26th, 2010 |
To realize the value of ten years…Ask a newly divorced couple.
To realize the value of four years… Ask a graduate.
To realize the value of one year…Ask a student who has failed a final exam.
To realize the value of nine months..Ask a mother who gave birth to a stillborn child.
To realize the value of one month…Ask a mother who has given birth to a premature baby.
To realize the value of one week…Ask an editor of a weekly newspaper.
To realize the value of one hour…Ask the lovers who are waiting to meet.
To realize the value of one minute…Ask a person who has missed the train, bus or plane.
To realize the value of one-second…Ask a person who has survived an accident.
To realize the value of one millisecond…Ask a person who has won a silver medal in the Olympics.
To realize the value of a friend…Lose one.
Time waits for no one. Treasure every moment you have, when you can share it with someone special.
Posted in Poetry Jokes and Reflections | No Comments »
Thursday, February 25th, 2010 |
A senior citizen bought a brand new Corvette convertible. He took off down the road, flooring it to 80 mph and enjoying the wind blowing through what little hair he had left on his head.
“This is great,” he thought as he roared down the turnpike.
He pushed the pedal to the metal even more. Then he looked in his rear view mirror and saw a highway patrol trooper behind him, blue lights flashing and siren blaring.
“I can get away from him with no problem” thought the man and he tromped it some more and flew down the road at over 100 mph. Then 110, 120 mph.
Then he thought, “What am I doing? I’m too old for this kind of thing.” He pulled over to the side of the road and waited for the trooper to catch up with him.
The trooper pulled in behind the Corvette and walked up to the man. “Sir,” he said, looking at his watch. “My shift ends in 30 minutes and today is Friday. If you can give me a reason why you were speeding that I’ve never herd before, I’ll let you go.”
The man looked at the trooper and said, “Years ago my wife ran off with a State Trooper, and I thought you were bringing her back.”
Have a good day, Sir,” said the trooper.
Posted in Poetry Jokes and Reflections | 2 Comments »
Wednesday, February 24th, 2010 |
As they say, “out of the mouths of babes.”
Since the Pledge of Allegiance and The Lord’s Prayer are not allowed in most public schools anymore because the word ‘God’ is mentioned….A 15 yr old school kid in Arizona wrote the attached
NEW School prayer :
New Pledge of Allegiance
Now I sit me down in school
Where praying is against the rule
For this great nation under God
Finds mention of Him very odd.
If Scripture now the class recites,
It violates the Bill of Rights.
And anytime my head I bow
Becomes a Federal matter now.
Our hair can be purple, orange or green,
That’s no offense; it’s a freedom scene.
The law is specific, the law is precise.
Prayers spoken aloud are a serious vice.
For praying in a public hall
Might offend someone with no faith at all.
In silence alone we must meditate,
God’s name is prohibited by the state.
We’re allowed to cuss and dress like freaks,
And pierce our noses, tongues and cheeks..
They’ve outlawed guns, but FIRST the Bible.
To quote the Good Book makes me liable.
We can elect a pregnant Senior Queen,
And the ‘unwed daddy,’ our Senior King..
It’s ‘inappropriate’ to teach right from wrong,
We’re taught that such ‘judgments’ do not belong.
We can get our condoms and birth controls,
Study witchcraft, vampires and totem poles.
But the Ten Commandments are not allowed,
No word of God must reach this crowd.
It’s scary here I must confess,
When chaos reigns the school’s a mess.
So, Lord, this silent plea I make:
Should I be shot; My soul please take!
Amen
Posted in Poetry Jokes and Reflections | 6 Comments »
Thursday, February 18th, 2010 |
I came across this poem while packing up for our eventual move. I write poetry and have also saved every poem and slightly poetic piece that I have ever encountered. I don’t know when I acquired this poem called “The Lady” by Art Harris, but it touched me as I’m sure it had when I first read it. It very well might have been written in reference to 911. Whatever the case may be, I thought I’d share with my readers as a tribute and a realization.
The Lady
by
Art Harris
I wonder what she thought as she stood there, strong and tall.
She couldn’t turn away, she was forced to watch it all.
Did she long to offer comfort as her country bled?
With her arm forever frozen high above her head.
She could not shield her eyes, she could not hid her face
She just stared across the water keeping Freedom’s place.
The smell of smoke and terror somehow reduced her size
So small within the harbor but still we recognized…
How dignified and beautiful on a day so many died
I wonder what she thought, and I know she must have cried.
Posted in Poetry Jokes and Reflections | 3 Comments »
