Sunday, January 3rd, 2010 |
A must see video if you believe in America. Born Again American
Quoted from the website Born Again American
“Add Your Voice
“. . . I am my country’s keeper.” Are you inspired to recommit yourself to being an active, involved and thoughtful citizen—a Born Again American? Join almost 5 million Americans who have already watched our video, almost 200,000 who signed our Pledge and thousands more who contributed lyrics, personal pledges and messages. As our Pledge says, You Matter.“
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Friday, October 23rd, 2009 |
I just read this article today “For Some Parents, Shouting Is the New Spanking” that was posted on NY Times.com and tweeted by PierrePaperon. Personally I find it very sad that parents actually feel restricted in how they can discipline their children. Unless there is a parallel universe that I don’t know about, the controversy about spanking children has created even more problem children. Are the people that are claiming that spanking is detrimental not seeing what the rest of us see? Has anyone met their children? The article states that yelling is the new spanking, in my opinion they work in unison. My assumption is that if parents are made to feel that spanking is a bad thing they will refrain from it, but who is to be the judge, history or what “doctors” say? Am I the only one that sees a negative change in today’s generation? The people who will refrain from hitting their children are not the ones who had caused the controversy. Who doesn’t understand that the people that abuse their children by hitting them and using physical force are not “Normal” and they will continue to do it anyway. I suppose there might be a fine line.
I can tell you this, I spent many a day with my mother’s five finger mark on my arm. I can not tell you what any of the circumstances were, but I can tell you this; whatever lesson was to be learned, I learned it quickly. AND, I survived. I knew well the taste of Ivory Soap, which is why on one occasion my sister and ran into the bathroom to rub Dove Soap against our teeth instead. You can rest assured that whatever we had said, we did not repeat, (at least not in mom’s presence). AND, we survived. Mom was a tough disciplinarian. We didn’t get everything we wanted, we learned the word “NO” very early on, and accepted it and we learned that if we didn’t give our elders respect we were in a heap of trouble. AND ya know what, we survived. I have three siblings, normal as normal can be. We are not aggressive, angry or abusive people. We are all well adjusted, respectful, nice people with compassionate and caring hearts. Hmmm and we were hit!
I am the biological mom of two boys and step-mom to three girls and a boy. Of course, boys will be boys and my boys sometimes got out of hand. Sometimes they were irate. Sometimes they were at each other. Reasoning with a child that is being a child is not always the easiest thing to do because at times they are so out of the loop that they are beyond being talked to. I always found that the best way to awaken their senses was to give them a quick smack. I didn’t beat them, it wasn’t a continuous barrage of hitting, but when I smacked them, boy did I get their attention. That is when I would follow up with yelling. For the most part my yelling ultimately would send them to their respective rooms until we all calmed down. The critical aspect of all of this was that when we did calm down, either they or I would approach the other to discuss our confrontation. Communication is key! AND, never did we part without both apologizing and saying, “I love you.”
To clarify the apology, I tell you this. When either of us was wrong, we apologized for being wrong, but most of all I always apologized for my reaction and explained that it was out of frustration and that it never meant I didn’t love them.
For the record my boys are not aggressive, angry or abusive people. They are both well adjusted, respectful, nice people with compassionate and caring hearts. I often get compliments on what wonderful people they are and what a good job I did as a mother. Now at 25 and 22 years old, they are my best friends.
Parents today seem to think that they need to be friends with their children. I can tell you from experience that you need to be a parent first, friends comes later. My husband, a non-disciplinarian, will be the first to tell you that he made many mistakes. He wishes now that he had been a stronger parent and that he stood up to his children. He also wishes now that he actually spanked his children who have had a major array of problems through out the years, and still do. He always believed that he should stand down. he never wanted to piss them off, he wanted them to like him….he’s sorry now.
I truly believe that spanking and yelling at a child is not the issue. The issue actually is in the communication before, during and after.
Children need discipline and parents are responsible for teaching them. Unfortunately, because of the economic chaos in this country, people are stressing and both parents are working at least one job each. It is also unfortunate that because of these circumstances many parents are too stressed or tired to do what it necessary when their child needs to be disciplined. It’s a lot easier to say, “yes” than “no.” It’s a lot easier to let children get away with things because parents are too distracted by “life” as it is. The problem is not “spanking” vs “yelling.” The problem is that parents need to understand that children don’t come with a set directions, no one can tell you what’s right in bringing up your child. The most wonderful children come from parents who think with their heart.
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Tuesday, October 20th, 2009 |
It’s just not right when 90% of the people I talk to are miserable about something. The “something” is not necessarily financial, but most problems seem to be at least somewhat related. I can remember a time when people were easy going. There was a time when people were nice. There was even a time when people would just smile when they looked at you. I don’t know if it’s South Florida or all over, but “please” and “thank you” seems to be words of the past. How can that be? Can people be that unhappy, that selfish and self absorbed that simple etiquette has become obsolete?
There was a time when I would be standing in line and I let that person behind me with just a few items go ahead of me. You would have thought I gave them a gift by the way they smiled and expressed their appreciation. The other day, I did just that, I let someone go in front of me. They didn’t look at me, didn’t smile and didn’t respond with a thank you. I’m not one that requires appreciation for what I do, but “thank you?” T H A N K Y O U! It’s so easy to say!
What bothers me most is that for a person who is not an angry person, I’m getting angry! I would like to express to people that they are not the only ones that are having a difficult time. I would like to tell them that this economically challenged society is effecting each and every one of us. I want to say, “you’re not helping the situation by being an ass hole,” but of course I don’t.
So what do we do? Do we sit back and hope that our newly formed, non-Democratic government will actually resolve the issues it’s caused. Now that’s a scary thought!
Sometimes, I would stand outside and enjoy the weather; the heat of the sun, the vibrant color of the trees, the sounds of nature. As comforting as that sounds, it’s not as it used to be. It’s almost eerie and there’s an ominous feeling in the air. Oddly enough I often feel as if I’m on another planet. Funny, Mike has often accused me of being an alien because, in his eyes, I’m different than anyone he’s ever met before. Now sometimes I wish I was so I could go home!
The ironic thing is that we have become a society that focuses on health and being healthy and living long healthy lives. Yet, the stress that we’re dealing with is going to kill us. How much attention is being given to the Swine Flu? Is there no one that is realizing that we are facing a much larger “pandemic”? Maybe…..THAT’S the plan! Maybe what “they” are figuring is that if the Swine Flu Vaccination doesn’t infect us all the stress will. Hmm, I wonder!!!
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